My life didn’t turn out the way I thought it would. It couldn’t. If it had, I never would have become who I was created to be.
It’s impossible not to feel the impact when dreams are shattered. It stays with you as an unwelcome reminder not to hope as much next time, to dream smaller, safer, or not at all. It’s safe to stay small.
But broken dreams and opportunities make way for new and different ones, far greater than we could have imagined or achieved on our own.
The last six years have been the most important years of my life. The most challenging, by far, which is why they’ve been so important.
It started with a divorce that reduced me to ruins. Suddenly, the landscape of my world was completely unfamiliar and I struggled to find my bearings while so many of the people in it started slowly fading away.
But it was that beautiful state of ruin that opened me up to possibility. To embracing imperfection, authenticity, and vulnerability. Ultimately, to a level of human connection that provided a powerful restoration.
Lessons of Grace
I learned a lot about grace six years ago. You find out who your true friends are when you go through a rough patch, but more importantly, journeying through it together reveals their true character at the deepest level. I experienced more grace and love during that dark time in my life than I’d ever felt before. I discovered the depth of my family’s love through the way they were immediately supportive, no questions asked. I watched my friends surround me, covering me with grace, over and over again.
Those lessons increased my capacity to extend grace in a dramatic way. I now love more deeply. I have more compassion and a depth of understanding that can only be reached by experiencing the same from those who matter most to me. My whole world has opened up to possibility. To receive. To dream again.
The Power of Choice & Possibility
One of the most powerful tools we have is our choices. Choices about how to respond. The choice to keep ourselves open to possibilities. Maintain the space in our lives so others have room to enter into it. Staying open for connection. Risking vulnerability. Choosing authenticity and to believe you’re enough, mirroring that back to everyone who crosses your path so they too may come to the same realization.
This has been a journey full of lessons, mistakes, and transformation. I have encountered so many beautiful souls along the way who have taught me countless invaluable lessons. They and those lessons are ingrained in me, woven into the new fabric of who I am.
It’s been six years of lessons I cannot imagine ever not learning. Six years of connections and interactions with people I would never have met. Being granted the permission to see the pain and beauty that lives inside their stories because I let them into mine.
As difficult as it was, my divorce had to happen. It opened the door to the journey of self-discovery and self-examination that led to becoming who I am. Staying who I was wasn’t an option. I was meant to be this version of myself. Fully me.
I began this journey buried beneath feelings of hopelessness, as chapters of my life were written while I was left desperately wishing for a different story. My pages are now filled with beauty and love, compassion and kindness, grace, gratitude, and transformation. I’m learning that the most beautiful chapters are written when I completely let go, allowing my hand to be guided by Someone much greater than I.